Tees Maar Khan is silly.

Movie - Tees Maar Khan (Hindi)
Director - Farah Khan
Producers - Ronnie Screwvala, Twinkle Khanna, Shirish Kunder
Cast - Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Akshaye Khanna, Rajiv & Raghu, Arya Babbar, Murli Sharma, Aman Varma, Apara Mehta
Music - Vishal & Shekhar, Shirish Kunder
Cinematography - PS Vinod
Editing - Shirish Kunder
Production Designer - Sabu Cyril
Background Score - Shirish Kunder
Story, Screenplay, Dialogues - Shirish Kunder, Ashmit Kunder
Release Date - 24th December 2010




Tees Maar Khan opens with a voice-over by Sanjay Dutt showing a baby who takes a liking to Hindi Cinema from his mother's womb itself. I'm sure Farah Khan would also have been such a baby back then, and that is evident in her first two films which celebrated Hindi Cinema and all its masala with elan. Which is why she easily became one of my favourite Indian directors with just two films as a director. But the choreographer-turned-director falls flat with her third directorial venture in hubby Shirish Kunder's script. A lot was said about her fall-out with best friend Shah Rukh Khan and her decision to cast Akshay Kumar instead, and yes, the magic of the SRK-Farah combination which worked wonders in Main Hoon Na & Om Shanti Om is clearly missing in this one. It is an embarassingly silly movie which is nothing but a series of poor jokes, over the top performances, garish costumes and pathetic dialogues. And yea, they've also given the film an official remake tag - by buying the rights of the Peter Sellers movie After The Fox, on which it is based on, at the last minute. 

Tabrez Mirza Khan urff Tees Maar Khan (Akshay Kumar) is a thief by birth. He is the most popular criminal from India around the world & can escape from anyone and anywhere if he wants to. He takes up the biggest con job of his life from the evil Siamese twins Johri Brothers (Raghu & Rajiv), of that to loot a running train containing 10,000 kg of priceless treasures. TMK hatches a plan where he pretends as a Hollywood director Manoj Day Ramalan, and lures the Oscar-obsessed actor Aatish Kapoor (Akshaye Khanna) to act in his movie by promising him an Oscar and gets an entire village along with Aatish and TMK's own wannabe actress girlfriend Anya Khan (Katrina Kaif) involved in his con job, by making them believe that its a film shoot. 

Now that sounds like a great plot for a Farah Khan film with a lot of scope for her brand of humour, action and masala. But sadly, it doesnt turn out to be that way. For most parts, TMK tries very hard to be funny where one silly gag comes after the other. You try laughing at one or two such very silly gags, but when the movie is having ONLY silly gags, its not such a good thing. One cannot expect logic or rationality from Farah Khan's movies, but in spite of that she makes sure that her movies are entertaining, till TMK. Even if you leave your brains at home, it is extremely difficult to digest TMK, especially the second half of the film which stretches on and on, failing to create any impact. The Farah Khan signatures are few and far in between like the scene involving Chunkey Pandey, Akshaye Khanna's argument with his secretary over missing Danny Doyle's (:P) phone call thinking it was Danny Denzongpa and the enthusiastically dancing Anil Kapoor in a TV show along with some slum kids. This is the kind of fun we expect in a full length film from Farah Khan, and that is certainly not what Tees Maar Khan is. The writers are her husband Shirish Kunder and his brother Ashmit Kunder and it doesnt even have the classiness of Shirish's directorial debut, the underrated Jaan-E-Mann. And yea, there is no mention of After The Fox, which they apparently bough the rights of, and the story is credited to Shirish Kunder. 

Akshay Kumar is slightly better than his recent few films, but seeing him in outrageous costumes, delivering silly lines is painful. Akshaye Khanna is great in certain scenes, but atrocious in many other scenes, and just like his previous release Aakrosh, he screams too much. Rajiv & Raghu, the Roadies duo are nothing but another gag in the movie. The 3 sidekicks arent even remotely funny. Same is the case with Aman Varma & Murli Sharma, the gay CBI officers (I dunno for how long Bollywood would keep stretching these homosexual jokes). Arya Babbar leaves a mark through his performance & Apara Mehta is good as the loud mom, a staple in Farah's movies. But the best performance in the movie is by Katrina Kaif. The leggy beauty has clearly had some awesome fun, acting completely over-the-top in every second of her screen time. Her dimwitted character resembles that of a dumb blonde's and she does that to perfection. The only scenes which made me laugh in the second half were the ones where she goes to apply more make-up because an important scene was going to be shot. And of course, there is Sheila Ki Jawani which alone is worth the money spent on your ticket. 

Salman Khan's special appearance along with Akshay and Katrina in a qawwali number is deadly, even though the song is a let down. Its great when Akshay does the Dabangg wala actions of Salman when he sees him coming. [:P] And when Sallu approaches Katrina Kaif, Akshay stops him saying, 'Bhai, mera maal hai!!' These two actors should work together more often. 

Farah's films usually have a kickass musical score. But apart from Sheila Ki Jawani & the title track, the music of TMK is a damp squib. Even the Salman Khan qawwali number (which is another high point of the movie apart from Sheila) is a bad song with a great video. Background score by Shirish Kunder mostly consists of different variations of the title track. PS Vinod's cinematography is vibrant and colourful. Sabu Cyril's art direction is not as impressive as his previous collaborations with Farah, but still his work in the title song & Sheila Ki Jawani deserve special mention. 

On the whole, TMK is a huge disappointment coming from one of my favourite directors, Farah Khan. The only things worth remembering in the entire movie are Katrina Kaif and her 'Sheila Ki Jawani' number. Farah shouldnt have taken her audience for granted after her two super-successful movies. TMK just remains a silly spoof and never rises above that. Farah, please get back with Shah Rukh, or try out a new combination with Salman and stick to writing your own scripts. :) We want more of what you gave us in your first films, not stuff like Tees Maar Khan. 


P.S. - For the first time, Shah Rukh would be happy for not doing a film. [:P]


Rating - 2/5 (For the few trademark Farah Khan scenes, Sheila Ki Jawani & Salman Khan's special appearance).